The Heebie-Jeebies
There are certain places that evoke a feeling for me that I like to term the Heebie- Jeebies. Whenever I enter one of these places, I immediately get a creepy, uneasy feeling. That feeling is soon replaced by a desire to bolt.You can always tell if a place creeps me out because soon after arrival, I start to make little squeaky noises that are part-whine, part-cry. I know I feel it on greater extremes than most people, but examine the following list and tell me if these places don’t creep you out. Just a little bit.
1. Menards. All those lamp-fans on the second floor are eery and strange. And at Christmas time they have this really scary tunnel filled with reject Christman globes and villages that really freaks me out.
2. K-MART. I don’t even have to say anything. I don’t.
3. DEB. Pre-teen/teen clothing store in the mall. It smells funny, and when you outgrow it, it provokes The Feeling whenever you look at it.
4. Burlington Coat Factory. It’s like a big scary warehouse that smells like moth-balls and everyone glares at you.
5. Kohl’s. I really think it’s the music that does it.
6. Mervyn’s. If you’ve looked for a bathroom in Mervyn’s, you probably will remember this place. There’s a café in Mervyn’s, which is always deserted, and there are displays of fake fruits and vegetables, and fake palm trees, and it’s always really dark, and there’s always tropical music playing which sounds really miserable and forlorn in there, and the bathrooms are often found through the café. It’s just the scariest place imaginable. Every time you walk through there you feel as if everyone was just wiped off the face of the earth and the happy music is still playing and you feel so scared and lonely and you just want to hold someone’s hand. If you’ve read Harry Potter, it’s kind of like walking into A LOT of dementors and they suck all of the happiness out of you.
7. Most Frank’s or other plant places. They feel funny.
8. Any off-season holiday store. It’s just so weird to see Santa Clauses and reindeer in July. It’s kind of depressing.
9. I realize I’m just a really elitist person, but sometimes Good Will. I think its the bridal gowns and stacks of shoes that does it.
To clarify, I don't really act like an elitist bitch with upturned nose in these stores. It's really more of an internal, uncomfortable feeling that can only be detected by a careful viewer. And making little sounds is just my nature.
And also, I really might just be a bitch.
Nordicbitch
1. Menards. All those lamp-fans on the second floor are eery and strange. And at Christmas time they have this really scary tunnel filled with reject Christman globes and villages that really freaks me out.
2. K-MART. I don’t even have to say anything. I don’t.
3. DEB. Pre-teen/teen clothing store in the mall. It smells funny, and when you outgrow it, it provokes The Feeling whenever you look at it.
4. Burlington Coat Factory. It’s like a big scary warehouse that smells like moth-balls and everyone glares at you.
5. Kohl’s. I really think it’s the music that does it.
6. Mervyn’s. If you’ve looked for a bathroom in Mervyn’s, you probably will remember this place. There’s a café in Mervyn’s, which is always deserted, and there are displays of fake fruits and vegetables, and fake palm trees, and it’s always really dark, and there’s always tropical music playing which sounds really miserable and forlorn in there, and the bathrooms are often found through the café. It’s just the scariest place imaginable. Every time you walk through there you feel as if everyone was just wiped off the face of the earth and the happy music is still playing and you feel so scared and lonely and you just want to hold someone’s hand. If you’ve read Harry Potter, it’s kind of like walking into A LOT of dementors and they suck all of the happiness out of you.
7. Most Frank’s or other plant places. They feel funny.
8. Any off-season holiday store. It’s just so weird to see Santa Clauses and reindeer in July. It’s kind of depressing.
9. I realize I’m just a really elitist person, but sometimes Good Will. I think its the bridal gowns and stacks of shoes that does it.
To clarify, I don't really act like an elitist bitch with upturned nose in these stores. It's really more of an internal, uncomfortable feeling that can only be detected by a careful viewer. And making little sounds is just my nature.
And also, I really might just be a bitch.
Nordicbitch
posted by nordicbitch and texass at 10:35 PM
1 Comments:
It sounds like shopping just brings out the Kafka in you.
And Goodwill smells like dirty old ladies.
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