Saved by the Bell: La REVOLUCION
Saved by the Bell kicks serious ass-when I was a kid, and now, when I can re-watch it and laugh. One of the things I noticed the second time around, as a technical “grown-up” is that I didn’t catch a LOT of things first time around. And so, I have compiled a list of things I think a lot of us didn’t notice about Saved by the Bell when we were in sixth grade.
1. Sometimes, the six of them (Zach, Kelly, Lisa, Slater, Jessie and Screech) are the only ones who get desks in a classroom. Example: the photography class Mr. Belding, the principal, teaches. What?
2. Geometry isn’t hard. Jessie made geometry look like it was impossible in the BEST EPISODE EVER-Jessie’s Song-the one where the girls start a singing group called Hot Sunday and Jessie takes caffeine pills for a geometry test. I remember dreading geometry after that episode-because if smart Jessie needs to resort to drugs to study for it, what will happen to me? Then I got into 7th grade, took geometry, and realized that Jessie is a dipshit.
3. Caffeine pills aren’t really drugs. That’s not true. They can be dangerous and addicting. However, Jessie was on those things for seriously TWO DAYS and then she’s freaking out and crying and I don’t even know. And then everyone brought her flowers and she acted like she had just given birth or gone through the ordeal of a lifetime. Shit, if I knew everyone was going to bring me flowers after two days of caffeine pills I’d go get some right fucking now.
4. Sometimes Kellie wore bikini tops under her jacket to class. What? Really….
5. I fucking hate Dustin Diamond.
6. Saved by the Bell was actually kind of an asshole show. It promoted bullying, and making fun of fat kids. Every time Zach made fun of a fat kid, the laugh track would sound, telling all of us impressionable kids at home that making fun of nerds and fat people is really funny. I know-this blog is based on making fun of people. I’m just being hypocritical.
7. Who the FUCK WAS TORI AND WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?????? She scared me so bad as a child-I called her “Scary Tori.” Not really, but I should have.
8.Lastly, every time Jessie says “Male Chauvinist Pig,” an angel somewhere loses its wings. So obnoxious. We get it-you’re the stereotypical image of a feminist-Yay!!!!
PS On searching for google images of “the gang” to accompany this blog-the FIRST fucking picture that shows up is one of Tiffani-Amber Thiessen’s boobies, clearly seen through a sheer top. Then I saw one of Jessie’s pudenda. I almost starting weeping. Wholesome my fucking ass.
Nordicbitch
1. Sometimes, the six of them (Zach, Kelly, Lisa, Slater, Jessie and Screech) are the only ones who get desks in a classroom. Example: the photography class Mr. Belding, the principal, teaches. What?
2. Geometry isn’t hard. Jessie made geometry look like it was impossible in the BEST EPISODE EVER-Jessie’s Song-the one where the girls start a singing group called Hot Sunday and Jessie takes caffeine pills for a geometry test. I remember dreading geometry after that episode-because if smart Jessie needs to resort to drugs to study for it, what will happen to me? Then I got into 7th grade, took geometry, and realized that Jessie is a dipshit.
3. Caffeine pills aren’t really drugs. That’s not true. They can be dangerous and addicting. However, Jessie was on those things for seriously TWO DAYS and then she’s freaking out and crying and I don’t even know. And then everyone brought her flowers and she acted like she had just given birth or gone through the ordeal of a lifetime. Shit, if I knew everyone was going to bring me flowers after two days of caffeine pills I’d go get some right fucking now.
4. Sometimes Kellie wore bikini tops under her jacket to class. What? Really….
5. I fucking hate Dustin Diamond.
6. Saved by the Bell was actually kind of an asshole show. It promoted bullying, and making fun of fat kids. Every time Zach made fun of a fat kid, the laugh track would sound, telling all of us impressionable kids at home that making fun of nerds and fat people is really funny. I know-this blog is based on making fun of people. I’m just being hypocritical.
7. Who the FUCK WAS TORI AND WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?????? She scared me so bad as a child-I called her “Scary Tori.” Not really, but I should have.
8.Lastly, every time Jessie says “Male Chauvinist Pig,” an angel somewhere loses its wings. So obnoxious. We get it-you’re the stereotypical image of a feminist-Yay!!!!
PS On searching for google images of “the gang” to accompany this blog-the FIRST fucking picture that shows up is one of Tiffani-Amber Thiessen’s boobies, clearly seen through a sheer top. Then I saw one of Jessie’s pudenda. I almost starting weeping. Wholesome my fucking ass.
Nordicbitch
posted by nordicbitch and texass at 5:47 PM
2 Comments:
TMZ has learned that a tape involving Diamond – who recently proclaimed to the world that he was completely broke – has allegedly surfaced in which the former TV star cavorts with two unidentified women. And even more shocking is an act that Diamond engages in with the women which involves bodily excretions and moustache-painting, known in sexual vernacular as the "Dirty Sanchez." TMZ learned of the allegation yesterday night, and called Screech's reps, who did not immediately return our calls.
Rush & Molloy report this morning that the tape is in the hands of Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered other such celeb-skin deals, and that Schmidt is shopping the digital video tape around to Hustler and Vivid Video, among other outlets.
It might not exactly be Oscar-caliber work, but Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, seems to be at least a little happy about the development for his client. "Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings," says Paul, who says he hasn't seen the tape.
honestly, I think the Dustin Diamond and the Dirty Sanchez is much less of an abomination than "Showgirls"
I removed that tape from my VCR with tongs and took it back to the video store that way.
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